Good! Fire kasina is engaging and cool, self inquiry was gold

Very lost in thought, but so it goes… Crazy neck tension today, no back tension at all, seems to have migrated Investigating sense of having a centre…

Bah, too late in the day, and slept too badly - concentration/lucidity was pretty bad Im realising that the Anapanasati at the start might not be better than somatic awareness for concentration but has the downside of not including somatics. I might just do somatic awareness and then self inquiry

Wow super lost in thought lol, but returned a bunch of times so yolo

Good! Noticed somatic correlates to e.g. noise of gf meditating next to me, when she’d move etc. And the freezing of my body when I’m thinking

Very distracted, fell asleep for a bit… got in touch with my heart space (very rare!) and shed a tear, so that felt significant! Definitely less forearm tensing these days. But I do wonder if I should be training samadhi

Yesterday and today I realised how much more of my body I can notice now I was exploring like “oh cool there’s my hand” and then the thought of like “no in superimposing the idea of ‘hand’ on top of what is just some sensations, what does it reallly feel like?” Felt investigative and playful Lost in thought for big periods but semi-lucid/able to catch the transition and investigate Seems to be less forearm clenching in the last 2 days

Good amount of moments of noticing unskillful clenching/suffering Some moments of like “wow, no clenching/suffering in my experience right now!” Lots of being semi-lost in thought

Bah, fell asleep last 10 mins Was way more lost in thought than the earlier sit today, barely had any moments of really being with somatic… Still do think I’ve had an increase in sensory perception though…

Good, although I was on the yoga mat which I think was a bad spot, would prefer to be comfy next time Win hoff followed my the guided metta did make me cry though! Powerful. Makes me realise I could fill my mindstream (and YouTube algo) with stuff like this, instead of Katseye/other parasocial content

Went really well felt very interesting. Me and Ediya listen to EMDR music as we meditative and I felt really useful for noticing how everything has a somatic correlate for example the music with pulse and there will be clicking noises sometimes and notice how that was causing somatic things to show up like a pulse and feed in my face and I also felt like I was lost and thought a lot but didn’t quite a semi lucid way where I could see what was happening with mathematics and could see you there on one time when I noticed tensing as if that would help speed up time and make this end faster and another time when there was like a really clear feeling of craving like pulling like momentum towards my laptop like really wanting to get back to work and nursing that was quite somatic and quite like there was a feeling of your movement in my experience

Well! Noticed various somatic contractions… new ones too…

1st one, noticed some stuff, was good, but maybe felt fairly subtle and therefore attention drifted

2nd one, somatic sensations felt much more present → triggered w/ grumpiness, felt much easier to stay with

Ability to see annoyed thought + associated sensations, then to have the thought drop away when I become mindful, then realise that I'm still holding the sensations in place (like a grumpy look on my face), and realising that I can drop it

Working on my concentration (which is dreadful)

Brought attention back to nostrils a few times, but was mind-wandering a lot

Had some good moments of letting things go

Had a lot of mind wandering, especially thinking about my various ~entrepreneurial endeavours atm, mind-wandering trying to figure out xyz ("oh shit i need to email x, maybe I should change my approach re: y" etc)

Lots of forearm tension

Some visual deconstruction

30 mins flew by and I definitely could have done more

So, it was a very wandering-mind sit, but still good, and you've gotta start somewhere

I brought my attention back to the breath multiple times (but was definitely lost in thought for large chunks of time)

Really good interesting sit. Doing the eyes open thing, having my visual field deconstruct somewhat.

Noticed that my torso felt "real" and non-empty, then stayed with it for a while and investigated the sensations, noticed how e.g. the sensation of breath comes and goes, is impermanent